Scientist are amazing, they figure out things like why a lightening bug lights up and how mosquito antenna work. They use million dollar tools in state of the art laboratories and they get to wear long white lab coats. (great chick magnet) They spend long laborious days ruling out the smallest of details and calculating the effects and results from even the most remote possibilities until finally, they’ve exhausted every possibility and viva la victory. A scientific fact is born!
Such is the case for tree eating beetles, well all except the victory part. You see scientists have been working on how to stop extensive tree damage in forests caused by beetles and somewhere in between the cosmic laser radiation induction or the infusion of macro sub nucleic particles someone must have left a radio on and as fate would have it the beetles reacted violently. The sounds disrupted their feeding, tunneling and mating habits and dramatically reduced if not stopped any further damage to the test blocks.
Researchers found that the beetles hated rock music from Queen, Guns and Roses and also the voice of talk radio host Rush Limabaugh. The project was not without problems however because one scientist was also driven half mad by the EIB network giant and resorted to playing the voice of Rush backwards to avoid hearing his words. The sound of Limbaughs voice although not understandable was still enough to cause the same behavior in the beetles but it is unclear at this time if the mating habits of the left leaning scientist is still affected.
There was no definitive word on which sound was best at thwarting this destructive pest and whether or not this type of approach will work on other insects such as german roaches or earwigs in homes. In my little ‘lab’ world I can tell you that most houses I go into have the Rush Limbaugh show playing and come to think of it, those clients seldom if ever have any pest problems. Is it my service that is so great or is it something more? Hmmmm.
I guess we’ll never know what conclusion these highly intelligent people came up with but my guess is they’ll rule the Limbaugh show out just so they don’t have to hear it when they are out in the field monitoring their work. But one day when I’m out in the woods taking a hike on a nice sunny day and hear music in the trees, I’m sure I’ll get my answer.
