Jeff Foxworthy is a true example of the greatness of America. Although he did not complete his college education, Foxworthy has become an huge success and a household name. He started his working life at IBM but at the urging of friends entered and won a laugh off contest and the rest is as they say, history. His wit and comedic style resinated with the everyday folk and it’s been upward ever since. His antics have also helped launch the careers of Larry The Cable Guy, Ron White and Bill Engvall. Truly an inspiration for anyone who has a desire and is willing to work hard to achieve their goals. After 30 years in comedy he is still going strong. Radio, books, comedy tours and since 2007 he’s been the star of the hit show “Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader.” His business savvy is also on display on the TV show “Shark Tank.”
Most notable of his routines were his “You might be a redneck” one liners. At one time it seemed the the whole country was reciting these quips and proudly declaring themselves, full blooded rednecks.
So I figure if he set the bar so high and since he helped blaze the trail for others, then why not me? So without further ado, here is my attempt to launch my comedic career.
If you use a can of wasp freeze to keep from getting car jacked…. you might be a pest control redneck.
If you take your wife’s turkey baster because you think it’d be a great liquid bait dispenser…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you own the complete DVD set of Billy The Exterminator… you might be a pest control redneck.
If you make your wife sit in the back seat to make room for your B&G… you might be a pest control redneck.
If you use a mouse snap trap to clip together office papers…you might be a pest control redneck.
If your bee suit is camouflaged so you can also wear it hunting…you might be a pest control redneck.
If on your honeymoon you were more interested in the ant trail on the window of your hotel suite than your new bride…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you go to more ceu classes than you need because of the free lunch…you might be a pest control redneck.
If the sticker on your Jeep says “my other vehicle is a bug truck”…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you don’t kill the roach in your own kitchen so you can study its habits…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you suddenly wake up in church and give full attention because the Reverend cites the scripture, “consider the ant thou sluggard.”…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you wear your crawl suit to a formal dinner…you might be a pest control redneck.
If your computer screen saver is any type of roach picture…you might be a pest control redneck.
If your wife gets you a bait gun for your birthday…you might be a pest control redneck.
If you put a spreader on your 4 wheeler just so you could write it off your taxes…you might be a pest control redneck.
And you really know you’re a pest control redneck, if your message on the answering machine is, “I’m either in a crawl space or an attic right now, at the tone please leave your message.” Yeah, you know it- you are a pest control redneck!
