The Cobbler Has Holes In His Shoes-The Pest Man Has No Clothes

Ever here that old saying? I kind of made up the second part. What about the contractors wife whose house is 1/2 built? Just the other day I was in my annual CEU class and heard a statistic that really floored me. The speaker wouldn’t identify the company but they were one of the big players in the Northeast for bed bug control. He said that 80% of the bed bug technicians had bedbug infestations in their home! AHHHHHHH!

Now I’ve been happily married for 27 years but I think this might be where my wife would draw the line and if I were lucky, I might manage to secure a place to sleep up in the tree house. As exterminators we constantly are in the thick of things and it seems only natural that fleas,

ticks or just whatever kind of bug we’re dealing with might hitch a ride on our pant leg or tool belt and get a free trip to where we live or our next account. For me, when I notice a flea hopping or any other pest on me as I’m driving home, I’m bound by company policy (straight from VP of operations-can you guess who that is?) to call ahead and from there alarms sound, employees scurry and preparations are made for my arrival.

#1– All regular laundry is finished or taken out of the washer
#2–A towel is set up in the garage next to the door
#3–A sheet is laid on the garage floor where I’m to dis-robe
#4–My secretary is warned to stay in the office
#5–Techs are re-routed to stay out on the field or in the shop
#6–The garage door is open
#7–The shower awaits with steaming hot water

So when I arrive I strip down in the garage and basically streak through the home. I forget sometimes to shut the garage door so I had a privacy fence put up between me and the neighbor- No more free peep shows here. Then my clothes go into the wash as I

dash through the hall and hope and pray that my son hasn’t invited the football team over- again- Even with this no matter how careful we are, our eyes are keen for the next day or two looking for any sign of a wayward hitch hiker. This process is repeated any time I do a major infestation which is many times per year but usually we worry about fleas more than any other bug. Now however, I’m gonna be much more diligent with bed bug jobs- which thankfully we don’t get near as many as some of my peers around the country do. And as you can see by the pictures I may need to watch the german roach jobs I do more closely. This little guy snuck through a major battle just the other day and ALMOST made it behind enemy lines.

Now I’m not sure what your contingency plan is but our little system has kept us (for the most part) from having unwanted bugs and maybe even saved me on marriage counseling bills. I’m always amazed at how the little buggers can stow away but it’s either me or them and I’m kind of fond of my house. So while I’m not the Emperor in my house (tell me what guy is)- I’ll definitely continue to be the one who has no clothes.