We’ve all watched the scene play out, a ship wrecked man in tattered clothes who comes upon a bottle in the sand. Thinking it’s water perhaps or something else, he picks it up, uncorks it and SHAZAAM! Out pops a genie who is so happy to be released that he or she grants the guy 3 wishes.
Now over the years there have been movies made about this kind of thing, songs, cartoons, jokes, books and even a hit TV series with a smoking hot Barbara Eden who got into all kinds of trouble trying to please her master. The theme was always the same, the genie was locked away in their bottle as some sort of punishment and thousands of years go by until someone accidently stumbles across it. Now the genie is happy to get out alright but in 98% of the stories, (I Dream Of Genie & Aladdin being the exception) they only grant three wishes. I always wondered why. In any case, the wisher had to be careful because the wishes didn’t always turn out like they thought and, the wishes were final once wished.
So I got to thinking, what if there was a pest control genie and you found him in his bottle while crawling up under a house? Of course we wouldn’t be so lucky to have Barbara Eden as our genie. More likely it would be old Otto Orkin who was banished into a chlordane bottle or Dr. Frishman tripped head long into a jug of Talstar and it was you who let them out. Of course they’d be happy to be out of their bottles but maybe a little cranky so don’t get cocky and expect too much. ( you probably just woke them from their nap)
A Bit On The Frugal Side
Unfortunately for us, pest controls always been a bit light on the paycheck side of things so I imagine our genie would be nodifferent. I doubt you could get a billion dollars or every account in the world or anything too extravagant. No, our genie would probably be more practical and specialize in wishes like; Your sprayer never dripping again or never being stood up, how bout a fancy inspection scope or not having to work Saturdays? I’m sure there are thousands of other wishes we could make that would fit right in with our genies capabilities. Just make sure to speak to his left side and loudly. Our genies bottle was in the crawl space of a college Frat house so the loud music kind of damaged his hearing.
With only three wishes, what exactly would you wish for?
Well I’m sure the answer is different for all of us but it’d be interesting to hear. But just like in the movies, you have to wish right here and now, no take backs and you only get three. Make em count.