Tonight I had my monthly night run and one stop was a large nursing home kitchen where I recently had to set out some mouse control stations. The ladies hated it the other day when I broke out the glue boards and snap traps. “So cute, don’t kill em” they all retorted with a sorrowful tone. I explained that baits weren’t an option and the big boss wanted these things gone quick because they were expecting the state inspector any day. Of course they agreed but it didn’t make them any less sad.
So tonight was a regular service visit and I so wanted to nonchalantly scoop up anything I caught and quickly dispose of the evidence. Instead, as soon as I hit the door the ladies all gathered round and gawked over my shoulder to see what I had got. Not to brag but I set up a real nice gauntlet and just knew I was gonna have at least one. What I caught was two mice, most likely the mom and pop and this sparked off an echoing chorus of wailing and gnashing of the teeth. OK, that may be over the top but they weren’t happy at all and it was inferred that I was mean, cruel and everything but a child of God. “How can you kill something so cute you MEANY?”
Now I love the ladies but I must admit my strategy of tucking the little critters away so no one could see them changed to leaving them out in full display and now I was was having fun. “Don’t you know how many babies these two could have?” I asked. “They carry disease and are famous for getting in purses and being transported to homes that way you know.” Of course they weren’t buying it and instead went on about the suffering the little guys went through and how cute they were etc. This went on for awhile and seeing I wasn’t going to get much work done I took my prey out to the dumpster and started on another part of the building. 20 minutes later my PETA types were back at it but this time I posed them this question.
“You don’t mind when I trap a roach or a spider and they too are one of Gods creatures, why don’t you feel sorry for them?” Their answer that mice were fuzzy and cute and bugs are just icky and gross was typical but got me thinking. Could you do pest control if bugs were cute? What if german roaches looked like tiny Teddy Bears and spiders had smiley happy faces? Since it’s the ‘6 legs’ that seem to be creepy what if they had 4 like a little puppy and a tail that wagged a 100 mph per hour when you walked in the room? Could you step on a bug that looked like that or douse them with a 1/2 can of Raid. Well I think we all know the answer to that one but I’m just glad they don’t resemble these things we hold so dear. I think even I’d be sorry for cranking up the fogger and filling a room with a lethal dose of insecticide to kill off an infestation of ferocious puppies.