Five Celebrities That Would Make Terrible Exterminators


rhondarousey http://pestcemetery.com/Question: Which celebrity do you think would make a terrible exterminator?

Last year, I visited the topic. You can find the original post here.

I have no idea why, but for some explainable reason, I felt the need to revisit the topic. This time, however, I’ve decided to include females.  

Let’s skip the formalities and jump right into the list:

5. Ronda Rousey: Despite standing 5’7”, Ronda has quickly become a huge UFC superstar. She’s cleared the Bantamweight division and will have to go up a few weight classes to find competitive fighters. Her 11-0 record is impressive, but nine of those fights were won by armbar submissions. I can’t think of a single household pest with arms. If she were some sort of leg lock expert, maybe things would be different. As it currently stands, however, I see no PCO potential in Ms. Rousey.

4. Bruce Jenner: Look….what the former Olympic Gold Medalist chooses to do is HIS business, but in the pest control industry you have to be decisive. Wishy-washy “I’m not sure” stuff won’t translate well when running a route. As a PCO, you choose a way to tackle a situation and do it. You can solve an ant problem with a wand or a bait box, but you’ve got to be committed to your tools. A little of both is not going to cut it.

3. R Kelly: Having an affection for Gel Bait is bad enough, but the misuse of Gel bait is inexcusable. In the 1990s, R Kelly had at least two label violations- he illegally married a Gel bait and was caught on video with another. Although he was found innocent in his court battle (think O.J.), this R&B crooner would be far too great of a risk for any reputable pest control company to take a chance on.

2. Nancy Grace: Watch her on Headline News for any period of time and you’ll find this legal commentator/television host to be HIGHLY critical of any form of profiling. Look, I get it – profiling people is a bad thing. In the pest control industry, however, profiling pests is a HUGE part of our success. We must treat German and Oriental roaches differently, just like we treat red imported fire ants and little black ants differently. Nothing against a particular species, but we have to do what we have to do . I’m not convinced she’d buy into that notion.

1. Warren Buffett: Okay, let’s look at this from an economic standpoint. Warren, with a net worth of $72.3 billion, has annual earnings of about $6.6 million. When you do the math, that equates to monthly salary of $550k. Even if his 84 year-old knees could stand the punishment of 260 quarterly services every month, you’d have to charge each pest control customer about $2,165 PER SERVICE!!! Just about the only customer that could afford pest control service from Warren Buffett is Warren Buffett.

Honorable Mention – Kenny Chesney/Larry the Cable Guy (Tie): Have you ever seen these guys wearing sleeves? I don’t know about ALL uniform suppliers, but Cintas highly frowns on shirt alterations – including sleeve removal. That’s not to mention the issues you’d encounter with OSHA and your Dept of Ag. Employing these guys would be like hiring your own turnover – termination is practically assured.

About the Author: 

steve jackson Titus pest control http://pestcemetery.com/While a large part of his time is consumed by his pest control operation, Steve Jackson is also a husband and father of two. In his off time, he enjoys watching college football, catching movies, and spending quality time in his Warner Robins community. He has a passion for marketing and loves to write.

He also has a strange habit of writing his bio in third person.

About The Bug Doctor

Jerry Schappert is a certified pest control operator and Associate Certified Entomologist with over two and a half decades of experience from birds to termites and everything in between. He started as a route technician and worked his way up to commercial/national accounts representative. Always learning in his craft he is familiar with rural pest services and big city control techniques. Jerry has owned and operated a successful pest control company since 1993 in Ocala,Florida. While his knowledge and practical application has benefitted his community Jerry wanted to impart his wisdom on a broader scale to help many more. Pestcemetery.com was born from that idea in 2007 and has been well received. It is the goal of this site to inform you with his keen insights and safely guide you through your pest control treatment needs.
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  • bug killed today

    You post stupid fuckin shit like this. What the fuck is wrong with you

  • Hey Jerry! Thanks for posting my article!