Category Archives: Tales from the route

Stories from the years I spent servicing homes and businesses. Some you most likely won’t believe but all are true.

Route# 9 Part Two

It’s amazing how time flies when you’re having fun and the last 3 months for me were really like a blur. I never really was ‘overly’ fascinated by insects growing up but here I was just engrossed with everything I … Continue reading

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Route # 9

For most people sitting in a small break room watching videos, reading manuals and taking tests for 3 straight months might not be their idea of a great job. Especially when you’re barely making minimum wage. However I was fascinated … Continue reading

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EASY JOB, Exterminating In America’s Most Dangerous City – by Kurt Beers

  I remember pulling up next to a Terminix truck at a red light one morning and thinking to myself that the man behind the wheel must not be the sharpest tool in the shed. I mean, who would want … Continue reading

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The Land Shark & Sleeping Beauty-Two Pest Control Phenomena’s

There’s a couple phenomena’s in your pest control route that we seldom talk about and that’s probably for a good reason. There’s really nothing you or I can ever do to change em. What’s more, I don’t know if anyone … Continue reading

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In One Ear And Out The Other Part Too

Part of the pest control business is dealing with complaints. You can be the best tech in the world, have a golden tongue and still you are going to have bellyaching on the route. Bar none. So like any good … Continue reading

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Get Your Autographed Tales Of The Route Book Today

I’ve never been accused of being a very good salesman. In fact, its almost been 30 years since I started my career and I think I’ve only amassed 5 total sales awards. Two plaques that were an after thought, a … Continue reading

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In One Ear & Out The Other: Part I

The legend of bugs (earwigs mainly) crawling in your ear and laying eggs in your brain is just that, a legend. But insects, including earwigs, finding their way into ones auditory orifice, or any opening of the body is something … Continue reading

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What Customers Lost Treasure Have You Found?

In my job, it’s not everyday I get a BIG OL hug as the woman squeals with glee and kisses my cheek. Thankfully, it happens even less when it’s a guy. Recently I found the master keys to an entire … Continue reading

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The Unknown Comic Of Bee Work

I’m not sure why but early in my career I was the one always called out for the biggest, nastiest bee jobs. Maybe it was because I wasn’t afraid of heights or perhaps I was just too stupid to realize … Continue reading

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A Pest Tech in Shining Armor

Like a scene from an Alfred Hitchcock movie I pushed the door open ever so slowly with the only body part sticking out was my eye. The kitchen was clean and orderly with nothing out of place and no hairy … Continue reading

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Who Got Stuck With This Rat?

Before the days of cell phones, computers and fancy sophisticated equipment the pest control industry seemed to get along just fine. Still, the trade marched on with every new innovation and some worked while others fell into obscurity. I must … Continue reading

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Two Winters Too Cold For a Jacket-Winter # 2

In an earlier article I wrote about the cold realities of the working world of pest control and two of the worst winters in my career. Actually I delivered #1 and only promised the 2nd. This is that story. Starting … Continue reading

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The Saddest Termite Job I Ever Sold & The Smile Of A Mad Man

It’s amazing how I could go from a top salesman one month and find myself scraping bottom over the next 30 day stretch. My downward spiral in sales would be unacceptable anywhere else but might have been understandable in this … Continue reading

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Two Winters Too Cold For a Jacket-Winter # 1

At one point in my career I came within a whisker of quitting pest control altogether. What started out as such an adventure and my ‘high calling’ had suddenly turned into this free fall of one bad experience after another. … Continue reading

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The Hollow Mansions On 39th part two

As with any mega pest control company the service contract was monthly for a year whether you needed it or not. In this time I came to know Dr. Muriez a little better but there was always a line I … Continue reading

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